You know that feeling when everything clicks and for a few minutes, it’s perfect. You’re in the zone, you feel amazing, whether it’s the thrill of a win, the rush of connection, or the first sip of a drink, it’s a high, a buzz, euphoria. But what about when it fades? Today on the podcast, I’m talking about why that feeling never lasts and why it’s not supposed to. From professional athletes to people just trying to unwind at the end of a long day, it’s easy to get caught up chasing a high or telling ourselves that more will be better.

This is episode 433 and you’ll learn how to stop chasing the buzz and what to ask yourself when it fades.

Whether you want to drink less or stop drinking, this podcast will help you change the habit from the inside out. We’re challenging conventional wisdom about why people drink and why it can be hard to resist temptation. No labels, no judgment, just practical tools to take control of your desire and stop worrying about your drinking. Now, here’s your host, Rachel Hart.

Today I want to talk about something that hasn’t come up on the podcast before. Golf. Now, I don’t play golf, but I grew up watching a lot of it. My dad played in college. It was always on the TV during the weekend in our home. So, I can appreciate the sport. I enjoy watching it. Even if golf sounds like the most boring game on the planet to you, there’s something really amazing to be learned by the mindset, right? Any high level pursuit requires that you embrace failure, that you grind through repetition, and that you constantly show up even when success is uncertain.

Now recently, I saw this clip of Scottie Scheffler. Now, if you’re not familiar with him, he is arguably right now the best golfer in the world. And I was really struck by what he said. He talked about how winning a tournament, even one of the majors, it brings a euphoria that lasts maybe only two minutes, and then it’s gone. And he talked about how despite devoting his life to the game, it doesn’t fulfill him. And that really hit me because it’s not every day that you hear someone at the top of their game speak so openly about the fleeting nature of success and how it doesn’t actually fulfill him or answer life’s deeper questions.

And it got me thinking about all of you and my own journey with alcohol and the work that I do to help people drink less because when I was drinking a lot, I was chasing something too. I was chasing the buzz. I was chasing that sweet spot where I was relaxed and funny and confident, but still in control, where I could feel good without crossing the line. And I kept trying to stay there, but I was very unsuccessful. More often than not, the chase turned into a crash.

But here’s the thing, maybe the problem isn’t that we chase euphoria, this place where everything feels good. Maybe the problem is that we misunderstand it. Euphoria is supposed to be fleeting. That’s the point. You’re not meant to extend it because you can’t. It’s in the nature of how it works. You’re meant to feel it and then let it pass. And once you understand that, whether it’s on the golf course or with a glass of wine, you can start asking deeper questions, like what actually fulfills me? And when you start uncovering this piece of the puzzle, it really helps you change your relationship with alcohol.

So let’s define what we’re talking about. Euphoria is a burst of intense pleasure, and whether it occurs naturally, so the euphoria that you feel after achieving a major goal, or whether we use something like drugs or alcohol to produce this feeling, it is meant to be short-lived. That is by design. So whether it’s winning a tournament or falling in love or eating something delicious or taking that first sip of your drink, euphoria is a wave, and every wave crashes.

The problem isn’t that it fades. The problem is that we expect it to last, and when it doesn’t, we’re disappointed and we go looking for more. We tell ourselves, well, if one is good, more will be better. Let’s keep this feeling going. I don’t want the night to end. But euphoria isn’t meant to be built upon. It’s meant to be experienced, savored, and then released. Trying to extend it, that is where you start to get into a lot of trouble.

Biologically, your brain is designed to notice what feels good. Euphoria triggers a burst of dopamine, your brain’s reward chemical. It’s your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, that felt great. Let’s remember this.” But there’s a catch. Your brain isn’t trying to keep you in a euphoric state all the time. It’s focused on keeping you alive, which means it’s always going to pull you back towards balance. That’s why that second sip doesn’t feel quite like the first. That’s why just one more never hits the same way. Your brain adapts. It’s called hedonic adaptation. The more pleasure you chase, the more your brain adjusts and the less impact it has on you.

Over time, if you keep chasing those highs, whether through drinking or food, shopping or scrolling, your brain starts releasing less dopamine. You need more stimulation just to feel the same effect. So the real question isn’t how do I keep the buzz going? It’s what happens when the buzz starts to fade.

So in that interview, and it’s really worth watching, it’s short, it’s about five minutes long and I’ll link it in the show notes. Scottie Scheffler says something I hear all the time from people who are working on changing their drinking. He says multiple times, “What’s the point?” Now, this is a guy who is living his dream. He’s number one in the world and he’s still wondering why it matters so much for him. What’s the point of winning another tournament?

And he’s honest about the letdown that follows the high, about being on the treadmill of chasing after the next thing. And when I heard that, I thought, this is so similar to where people get stuck with alcohol. You drink, you feel good for a moment, then the buzz starts to fade, so you chase it and have another drink, a stronger pour, a longer night. But the more you chase, the more elusive it becomes. And eventually you’re not really even enjoying a big part of it. You’re just trying to get back to the feeling that’s already gone.

That was me. I was always chasing after a feeling that never seemed to last. And it’s not that drinking is bad or that enjoying the buzz is wrong. We don’t have to go into some game of which type of euphoria is more virtuous. It’s just that when you are chasing something that is fleeting, it will always kind of suck.

That chase had me using so much of my mental energy on alcohol. I was thinking a lot about it. Okay, when is this day going to end? When do I get off work so I can have a drink? And then I was also negotiating with myself when I was drinking about how much I was allowed to have. And then I would be waking up the next day thinking about how I wished I hadn’t had so much to drink.

Here’s the real kicker that I have learned in my own journey. Chasing the buzz doesn’t just fail to deliver, it actually makes the present moment worse. So you’re out, you’re enjoying a drink, but your mind starts to think about how more would be better. Maybe you start negotiating with yourself. I’ve been so good this week, I deserve to treat myself. 

When that happens, you’re not in the moment. You are imagining a future that is better than right now, just one drink away. And in doing that, you have downgraded your current experience. You’ve unconsciously told yourself this is not enough. You’re not present. You’re not fully enjoying what’s inside of you because your mind is convinced that something better is around the corner.

I talk about this a lot with the Upgrade archetype when the brain links alcohol to enhancing an experience or to elevate or optimize the moment. What actually happens with the Upgrade is that alcohol can start to put blinders on you. Your brain starts expecting this high value reward every time something special happens. You’re watching the sunset, you’re on vacation, you’re at a fancy dinner, even if you’re just trying to relax. And if the reward doesn’t come, what happens? You find the experience lacking. You start to believe that you can’t enjoy these moments without a drink. You might even feel anxious or annoyed at the idea of having to experience these special moments sober.

And the more your brain links alcohol to pleasure, the more your attention narrows. You stop noticing the people that you’re with, the beauty around you, what’s special about this moment. You become fixated on the drink. And ironically, that fixation is what robs you of all the joy that is actually available.

So what I want you to consider is this is where the real work begins. And it doesn’t have to be just with the Upgrade archetype. Once you stop chasing the high, once you accept that it’s fleeting, you’re left with a deeper question. What actually fulfills me?

In the interview, Scottie Scheffler said, I’d much rather be a great father than a great golfer. That’s a pretty profound shift. He talked about how if in the future he felt like golf was getting in the way of being a great father, he would have to really rethink golf.

So it’s not that euphoria is bad, it’s just that it’s fleeting. So there’s no point chasing after it, whether it’s the high from winning the Masters or the buzz you get from your favorite drink. So what if you stopped organizing your life around that next hit of pleasure and how am I going to make it last? And instead, got curious about what your deeper desires are, what fills you up when the buzz is gone?

Because here’s the truth, it’s never going to be just one more of anything, not one more drink, not one more bite, not one more win, not one more promotion. The deepest desires of your heart, connection, meaning, growth, purpose, they don’t show up in dopamine spikes. They’re slower, they’re more complex, they’re sometimes messy, and often invisible to us at first because we’ve spent so long chasing the quick reward.

So how do you actually stop chasing the buzz? You got to start by noticing the pattern. Just the awareness of, oh, that’s what I’m doing. I’m chasing this feeling. I’m chasing the euphoria. I’m chasing the buzz. Just that awareness can be a huge shift. Notice if you’re constantly trying to extend or prolong or lengthen how you feel. Get curious if you notice that you feel let down when it starts to fade. When you notice this pattern, you can start to get curious about why. Why am I stuck in this cycle? If euphoria is meant to be fleeting, if your brain is wired to downregulate, if bliss is never meant to be permanent, why does this feeling hold so much power for you? That’s where the real work starts because that’s where you’ll start to hear your archetypes bubbling up.

You might notice yourself thinking, oh my God, but I work so hard all week long, or I give so much to everybody else and this is the one thing I do for myself, or I just want to enjoy my time with my friends. I have so little of it. I just want to feel connected and have fun. You might think, yeah, okay, but like, if the buzz fades, and it’s just I’m left with my evening and my to-do list and the stress that I’m trying to escape. Whatever comes up for you is going to be so important and key to changing your own relationship with alcohol.

And if you don’t know your drink archetypes, take the quiz at FindYourDrinkType.com. You can learn more about them there and how to start working with them because they truly are the key to lasting change.

And I’ll say this, the buzz is not the enemy. It’s not a bad thing. It’s not morally wrong, but chasing it will keep you on a treadmill. It will keep you stuck. You don’t have to shame yourself for wanting to feel good. You just have to be honest with yourself about what the pursuit is costing you. And start by asking better questions. You might start with, well, what would satisfaction in my life actually look like? Where do I want to find fulfillment? And even something that Scottie Scheffler was talking about, what are the deeper desires of my heart?

And I’ll just say, these are big questions to grapple with. And I didn’t know the answers when I started doing this work. Truthfully, I found this internal conversation with myself a little intimidating, but I knew that it was a conversation that I wanted to have. And I’ll also say, I don’t think I figured it all out. My answers are constantly evolving.

What I did know back then, I knew that something desperately needed to change in my life. Not because my drinking was so terrible or so bad, but just because it was taking up so much oxygen. And of the many things that I wanted to change back then, drinking really was at the top of the list for me because I had so much shame, so much regret. And at that point, I was just sick of having spent so many years of my life wondering, am I ever going to figure this out?

I will tell you, once I started doing the work on changing my relationship with alcohol, understanding my desire, doing the work with my cravings, all of it trickled down into so many other parts of my life that I wanted to shift as well. So my relationship with productivity and my romantic relationships and my identity and my aspirations, doing the work to have a healthy relationship with alcohol, it revealed so much more and it helped in so many ways that at the time was totally unexpected for me. Because once you stop chasing the buzz, you’re finally free to go after what matters.

Chasing the buzz is always tempting, but it was never meant to last. So let it come, let it fade, let it pass. And when it does, don’t panic. Don’t chase. Instead, just ask yourself what remains and start from there.

All right, that’s it for today. I’ll see you next week.

Hey guys, you already know that drinking less has plenty of health benefits. But did you know that the work you do to change your relationship with alcohol will help you become more of the person you want to be in every part of your life? 

Learning how to manage your brain and your cravings is an investment in your physical, emotional and personal wellbeing. And that’s exactly what’s waiting for you when you join my membership Take a Break. 

Whether you want to drink less, drink rarely, or not at all, we’ll help you figure out a relationship with alcohol that works for you. We’ll show you why rules, drink plans, and Dry January so often fail, and give you the tools you need to feel in control and trust yourself. 

So, head on over to RachelHart.com and sign up today, because changing the habit is so much easier when you stop trying to go it alone.