How do you figure out how to manage all of your excuses to have a drink or have another round without relying on impeccable discipline or having an iron will? Sometimes it’s just about finding a believable thought that can immediately switch your mindset about what’s really at stake. This is Episode 413, and I’m sharing some breakthrough thoughts that can help you shift your mindset quickly and say no to your cravings.

Whether you want to drink less or stop drinking, this podcast will help you change the habit from the inside out. We’re challenging conventional wisdom about why people drink and why it can be hard to resist temptation. No labels, no judgment, just practical tools to take control of your desire and stop worrying about your drinking. Now, here’s your host, Rachel Hart. 

One of my New Year’s resolutions this year is to spend less money on takeout. This is very important to me. I looked at my end-of-year spending in 2024 and said, this is really not how I wanna be using my money. So I wanna save money, but I also, I always feel better when I cook at home. So since the new year, I have been really diligent about meal planning and batch cooking and making sure that we always have food on hand.

But of course, like it goes with resolutions, you’re going to hit a moment where you’re not perfect. And the other day I went to my kitchen, I needed to start making dinner, and I realized that we had nothing to eat. And in 30 minutes, I was gonna have two hungry boys bursting through the front door, looking for food. And not only that, but I was tired, I was hungry myself, and now I was really cranky. And I will tell you that tired, hungry, and cranky is not a good combo for sticking with a resolution.

And I did this thing, you’ve probably done it yourself, where I kept kind of going back and forth between opening my fridge and opening my pantry and then opening my fridge again and opening my pantry again. And I felt like I was just staring into space thinking, there’s nothing to eat, we have nothing to eat, we have nothing for dinner. And I was getting more and more annoyed while I was doing it.

And then I remembered one of the tools that I’m gonna teach you about today, which is the concept of a breakthrough thought. Now, I don’t remember where I heard about this idea. I just remember someone once saying that you’re only ever one thought away from a breakthrough. And that really stuck with me because I think we’re all always searching for breakthroughs in all parts of our lives. And the problem is that breakthroughs can seem really far off.

But if you’re only ever one thought away, not only is that such good news, but it will make your goals feel so much more attainable because you just need to land on that one new thought, that one new sentence. So I’m gonna share with you some breakthrough thoughts that you can use with your drinking. 

But I will say that in that moment, when I was staring at my pantry and I reminded myself, hey, Rachel, you’re only ever one thought away from a breakthrough, I shifted away from what I had been telling myself, which is there’s nothing to eat, to the new thought of, okay, I can cobble something together from what we have on hand.

I just want you to notice here that I was not forcing myself to be grateful. I wasn’t trying to talk myself out of feeling annoyed. I was just shifting to a place of possibility. I was shifting from a place of there’s nothing, which is truly how it felt as I went back and forth between the pantry and the fridge. I went from a place of there’s nothing to there’s got to be something that we can eat.

And when I made that shift, right? So it was one sentence, one shift in my mind. All of a sudden, it was like what I was looking at, you know, I’m still looking at the same food that I had been looking at a minute ago, but suddenly I saw a possibility. I saw a half-eaten bag of stale tortilla chips. I remembered that we had an open jar of salsa in the fridge. I knew that we had half a dozen eggs, I knew that there was some cheese, and I saw the makings of chilaquiles.

I went from this place of, we’ve got nothing to eat, where I couldn’t see any possibility, to this place of, yeah, actually, here’s a meal. This is a meal that I can pull together very quickly and people will like it. And suddenly my problem was solved. 

And I think it’s just a good reminder that really one thought can change everything. So you can start to apply this with your drinking, but as you will see, you can start to apply this with really everything in life. Sometimes all you need is a new sentence to prevent yourself from saying, the hell with it, and pouring a drink.

So I wanna talk to you guys about some breakthrough thoughts that you can use to help yourself say no to a craving and drink less. So here’s the first one. If I still want the drink tomorrow, I can have it. But right now I’m saying no. 

The reason why I like this and the reason why I think it’s such a good breakthrough thought is because it takes forever off the table. All you have to do is get through today. And you can get through a single day with saying no. 

I think a lot of times what happens, and I watched this happen with myself when I was struggling with my relationship with alcohol, is that we tend to immediately start thinking in terms of forever. We’re told that if you struggle with being able to control yourself or saying no, that you have to stop drinking forever. 

When you say no or try to limit yourself and you’re not enjoying yourself, you may start to think this is going to suck forever, or I’m never going to be able to enjoy myself again, or these cravings are never going to go away, we’re so often expanding the period of time that we are dealing with. 

And so the reason why this breakthrough thought works so well is because instead of expanding the period of time, it constrains it. So you’re no longer dealing with forever or always, you’re just dealing with today. And you can get through today. 

I will tell you so many people who I work with will use a thought like this to help them when they’re doing a 30-day challenge inside the membership, and they will tell themselves, listen, if I really want the drink tomorrow, I can have it, but today I’m gonna say no. 

And so they use it as a way to help them get through the rest of the day, and then they wake up the next day, and they’re so proud that they didn’t give in. And the pride that they feel really helps fuel their commitment the following day. 

So you can also use a thought like this, not just to say no to a drink, you can use it to drink less. So that might sound like, if I really want another glass, I can have it tomorrow, but right now I’m stopping. Again, you’re not taking alcohol off the table forever. You’re simply saying, this is it for today. I can have more at a later date, but for today I’m done. And so sometimes the breakthrough thought that you need or the breakthrough that you need is reframing the time period that you’re working with. And that’s why that one is so powerful.

Another great breakthrough thought is, why isn’t the drink I just finished enough? I love this thought so much. You can use it with alcohol, you can use it with food, you can use it with screen time, you can really use it with anything that you consume. But to ask yourself, why isn’t the amount that I just had enough?

And the reason why this is a breakthrough thought is because it forces you to start asking yourself, enough for what? It forces you to grapple with what exactly enough means for you in this moment. So it takes you out of your conscious desire, which is I just like the drink, I just wanna have more, and it brings you to the realm of your subconscious desire.

And so your subconscious desire might be enough to make things feel special or enough to feel close to others or to feel like I belong or enough to make my anxiety go away or enough to forget about the day, enough to quiet the chatter in my brain. But whatever that subconscious desire is for you, and this is where the drink archetypes come in, you’re starting to change the conversation with yourself. You’re starting to really have to grapple with enough for what? Why isn’t what I just had enough?

Again, this is a really powerful breakthrough thought. I see a lot of people have success with this one in particular around the upgrade when they are drinking because their brain believes this is a way that you make things special or this is a way that you elevate things. 

And it’s like, okay, well, enough for what? Like, what exactly am I trying to achieve here by having more, right? Am I really gonna be able to get to that place where it’s enough if what I’m actually trying to do is to elevate my experience or make the moment special? So I encourage you guys to play around with that breakthrough thought. Why isn’t the drink I just finished enough? 

A third breakthrough thought, and this is another one that I use all the time, and I started with this breakthrough thought around drinking, but now it’s something that I use in so many areas of my life, but that thought is, I can be disappointed not to have the drink, or I can be disappointed in myself for drinking too much.

Again, this thought is really powerful because it is reframing something. In this case, it’s reframing disappointment. Instead of disappointment being this thing that you can escape or avoid by consuming more, it reminds you that disappointment is coming either way.

I mean, that’s another version of that thought that I sometimes use when I say like, listen, Rachel, disappointment is coming either way, so which version do you want? When you realize that that’s the case, that the human experience involves disappointment, it just does. There’s no way that you can set up your life to avoid disappointment sometimes.

When you acknowledge disappointment is coming either way, you start to have a very different conversation with yourself, which is, okay, so then which disappointment do I want to choose? If I can’t get rid of disappointment in my life, sometimes I’m going to feel it, then which type of disappointment do I want?

Do I want the disappointment of not having the drink? Do I want the disappointment of saying no to the craving? Or do I want to feel disappointed in myself because I keep breaking my commitment, because I don’t feel like I can trust myself, because I don’t like the consequences of how much I’m drinking or eating or how I’m spending my money or how I’m spending my time.

But you have to then really wrestle with the fact that it’s a choice that you have to make. It’s not this thing that you can set up your life to avoid. You can be disappointed to not have the drink, to not eat the food, to not buy the thing, to turn off Netflix or to put down your phone. All of those things are gonna create disappointment.

Or you can feel the disappointment because you keep consuming too much, right? That disappointment that you have with yourself for breaking your commitment, for choosing a path again and again that you see doesn’t serve you. This is such a great perspective shift to really start to remind yourself, listen, disappointment is coming either way.

I can be disappointed not to have the drink or disappointed in myself for drinking too much, but it’s coming either way. I cannot structure my life to somehow make disappointment this thing that I never have to deal with. And when you understand that, you start to see, okay, it’s a choice. So which one do I want?

And then the last breakthrough thought that I’m going to share with you is this. I’ll never be able to get enough of something that only works for a little while. Again, I think this thought is so good because when you are faced with the belief system of more is better, I want more, one more won’t hurt. You know what this sounds like.

I had some version of more is better that just ran through so many different areas of my life. It was true for a long time. I believe that thought was true with alcohol. I believe it was true with food. I believe it was true with attention. I believe it was true with money. I believed it was true with accomplishments. It was just more is better. I want more. One more won’t hurt.

You can use this breakthrough thought to remind yourself that in fact, you will always want more because what you’re using only works for a little while. It can only make you feel good for a little while. Eventually, the buzz is gonna wear off, or you’re gonna develop a tolerance, or that initial pop of energy is gonna turn into feeling tired.

You’re never ever going to be able to get enough of something that only works for a little while. That is the catch-22 of the things that we feel very compulsive with. There’s no staying power. There’s no lasting power. That’s also what the drink archetypes teach us.

No matter what you believe alcohol does for you, no matter what you believe, how it helps or how it improves something or how it makes something better, it’s only ever going to do that for a little while, and then the effect is going to wear off. And when you consider that, you start to understand that you’re going to be on this hamster wheel forever, chasing something that doesn’t last, that you’re never going to manage to fully have, right? Whatever it is that you are craving. 

So when it comes to the drink archetypes, I talk about your conscious desire and then your subconscious desire or your deeper desire, the idea of what the drink represents. When you understand that the effects of alcohol don’t last, you start to understand how easy it is to be caught on this hamster wheel, chasing after something that you’re never gonna manage to have.

So those are four breakthrough thoughts for you to play with. Again, this is something that you need to approach in the spirit of figuring out how to make these thoughts yours, how to play with them, see which ones resonate, see how you might shift them, see how you can put them into your own words, but really just reminding yourself that you’re only ever one thought away from a breakthrough can shift everything.

And it’s a really powerful exercise to instead of focusing on how you can be more disciplined and how you can avoid your triggers and how you can just, you know, get better at gritting your teeth, instead of focusing on those approaches, you can instead start to ask yourself, you know what, what breakthrough thought am I going to try out? Am I going to use the next time that I have a craving to help me shift my perspective?

I promise you, you’re gonna find so much more traction when you go that route, because you’re not just gonna rely on gritting your teeth and avoidance and trying to be really “good” and really disciplined. You’re actually going to be laying the foundation for a completely different mindset around drinking, around your cravings, around what you are actually seeking in the moment.

All right, that’s it for today. I will see you all next week.

Hey guys, you already know that drinking less has plenty of health benefits. But did you know that the work you do to change your relationship with alcohol will help you become more of the person you want to be in every part of your life? 

Learning how to manage your brain and your cravings is an investment in your physical, emotional and personal wellbeing. And that’s exactly what’s waiting for you when you join my membership Take a Break. 

Whether you want to drink less, drink rarely, or not at all, we’ll help you figure out a relationship with alcohol that works for you. We’ll show you why rules, drink plans, and Dry January so often fail, and give you the tools you need to feel in control and trust yourself. 

So, head on over to RachelHart.com and sign up today, because changing the habit is so much easier when you stop trying to go it alone.