You are listening to the Take a Break Podcast with Rachel Hart, Episode 380.

Hey, everybody, we are going to go head to head with another excuse today, “Who cares?” That is the excuse. I’m going to do a whole episode on it because here’s the thing about “Who cares?”, it really applies no matter your Drink Archetypes.

You might be The Upgrade, or The Reward, or The Escape, or The Connector, or The Mask, or The Hourglass, or The Release, or The Remedy. It really does not matter which of the Drink Archetypes are activated. “Who cares?”, it’s just one of those excuses that shows up across the board. And by the way, if you don’t know what your Drink Archetypes are, I have episodes explaining how they work, which I will link in the show notes, but better yet, just take the quiz and find out which of the eight archetypes apply to your drinking. It’s such crucial information. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol, you can go to drinktype.com to find out your answer.

All right. Back to “Who cares?” But like I said, today’s episode is relevant regardless of your primary and secondary archetypes because the excuse “Who cares?” is so universal. It’s a little bit like “Screw it. Fuck it. It doesn’t matter.” I’ll tell you one of the things that I have inside the monthly membership are something that I call excuse categories.

And I think it’s really, really powerful to see how many of your excuses will fall into certain categories. Because all of a sudden when you start to see the bigger picture, it really helps you to understand what’s going on. And “Who cares?”, it falls into a category of excuses that essentially communicate to you, there’s no point in denying the craving.

This category of excuses, and there are a lot of different ones that fall under this category, but this category really tricks your brain into thinking that saying no to your cravings is a pointless endeavor. I will tell you, lots of different excuses fall under this category.

They all have different flavors, but they really are communicating the same thing. There’s no valid reason in this moment, right now, in the moment when you’re having a craving, there’s no valid reason to say no. And all of that information, it’s all contained in those two little words, “Who cares?”

Now, I’ve talked a lot over the years on the podcast about compelling reasons. I have a bunch of episodes that really go deep on the ins and outs of compelling reasons and the misconceptions around them. But what you need to know is this. You already have a compelling reason. You do. If you are here, if you are listening to this episode, it is because there is something about your drinking, your relationship with alcohol, your relationship with your cravings, your relationship with consumption that feels off.

Now, for some of you, it might just be this quiet little whisper inside of you, this little niggling that you’re having a hard time shaking. For others, it might be a big, intense, deep worry. You may be one of those people where you have a really clear idea of what you want your relationship with alcohol to look like, and you may have no clue.

By the way, I’ll just say that is very normal to be in the camp of, “I don’t really know. I just know that something needs to change.” I think we need to make space for more of the not knowing. You do not have to decide right now what your drinking is going to look like for the rest of your life. You don’t have to do this in order to be successful.

I think that we really, I think we really do people a disservice by pretending that the only way that you can have success is by making a life long decision and then never looking back. Because I know there are a lot of you out there right now who aren’t sure. You want something to change, but you’re really not sure what that change would look like. That’s a totally fine and okay and healthy place to be in. A lot of people who join the membership and start working with me start precisely from the place of, “I know that I want something to change, but beyond that, I’m not really sure where this is going to end up. I’m not really sure where I want to go.”

So, just know that you do have a compelling reason. Even if you’re not sure of where you want to end up. And to put it in its most simple way, your compelling reason is simply to be more of who you want to be. That’s it. Be more of who you want to be. And right now that drinking is getting in the way. Maybe it’s getting in the way in small ways. When you drink the next morning, you wake up, you feel groggy, you’re more likely to hit the snooze button instead of going to the gym. Maybe it is affecting your life in those small ways.

Maybe it’s getting in the way in big ways. Maybe you don’t like the person you become when you’re drinking, but either way, you’ve got a compelling reason. You want to change. You want to be more of the person that you know deep down you’re supposed to be. Why does this all matter? Why does it matter to acknowledge that you have a compelling reason?

Because the excuse, “Who cares?”, stands in opposition to all of this. “Who cares?” suggests that nobody cares whether or not you give in, not even you. And that, of course, is a lie. Of course, you care. Otherwise, you wouldn’t want to change your drinking. You wouldn’t want to change your relationship with alcohol.

You always care. You don’t stop caring in the moment when the craving hits and when the excuses start pouring in. You simply have a more difficult time accessing that part of you when faced with the craving. And it’s easier to pretend like it just doesn’t exist, rather than to be face to face with the tension of who you are in that moment and who you want to be.

You care. Of course you care. You just don’t yet know how to navigate this craving on your own. You don’t know yet how to come through the discomfort of saying no and let it be okay. Because let’s be real, there will be discomfort at first. Now, it’s not nearly as drama filled as we make it out to be. That’s a huge piece of the work that I do with people. To really get to the heart of what is the actual discomfort versus all of the drama, all of the story, all of the dire predictions, all of the black and white thinking. When you delete all of that, yeah, there’s discomfort because your lower brain wants something. That it thinks it’s not going to get, but it’s not merely the discomfort that we imagine.

But here’s the other thing about discomfort, discomfort is a price that you pay for being and becoming more of who you want to be. You know this, right? Otherwise, we would be the best version of ourselves all the time, but we’re not. I’m not. Because it’s uncomfortable to be the best version of yourself. We have to continually choose discomfort in order to move closer to that version that we are holding onto in our mind’s eye. But here’s the thing, the more you choose that momentary discomfort. Because, like all things, it is momentary. It will pass. The craving is not going to stay there forever.

The more that you choose that momentary discomfort, the less uncomfortable you will be in the long run. That, to me, is the wildest part of all of this. The more you move towards the short term discomfort, the more comfortable you are long term. Because, why? Well, then you start to step into the version of yourself that you deeply desire, and the version of yourself that knows how to manage your lower brain, knows what to do with a craving, knows how to handle all your excuses. We all have this desire to be more of who we think we can be. And I think it’s important, whether it is with alcohol or food or money or whatever, to just acknowledge that tension is there, to acknowledge these competing desires.

It’s not just this simple, “I want what I want when I want it or I want this thing in front of me.” It’s both. It’s “I want this thing in front of me” and “I want to be more of the person I envision that I can be.” But the only way to get there, the only way to cross that bridge is by challenging a thought like, “Who cares?”

Reminding yourself every time your lower brain wants to offer it up to you, reminding yourself that “No, I care. I care. It matters to me.” And yes, it will feel hard and that’s normal, but it’s going to get easier with practice. Keep that in mind the next time you hear yourself thinking, “Who cares?” and remember all of this, all of this episode, what’s really going on behind that statement.

All right, that’s it for today. I will see you next week.