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Ep #374: How to Stay Motivated

Ep #374: How to Stay Motivated

Have you ever thought, “Screw it. I’ll start over on Monday”? This episode will help you understand how to stay motivated when it comes to drinking less.

Ep #373: What’s Wrong with a Reward?

Ep #373: What’s Wrong with a Reward?

Is wanting a treat at the end of the day a bad thing? Discover why your love-hate relationship with rewarding yourself with a drink is getting in the way of your goal.

Ep #371: Unconscious Drinking

Ep #371: Unconscious Drinking

Discover why you must be willing to pay attention if you want to drink less and the unexpected obstacle keeping you on autopilot.

Ep #368: The Remedy

Ep #368: The Remedy

Explore The Remedy archetype and learn what to do if you use a drink to manage insomnia or physical discomfort.

Ep #365: The Mask

Ep #365: The Mask

Explore The Mask archetype and learn what to do if you use a drink to ease social anxiety.

Ep #360: The Connector Archetype

Ep #360: The Connector Archetype

Learn about The Connector archetype and what to do if it’s hard to separate drinking from your social activities or bonding with the people in your life.

Ep #356: Drinking and Lack

Ep #356: Drinking and Lack

Learn why the end of the year is a great time to work on changing your relationship with drinking, and why addressing the lack you feel is key.

Ep #354: I Don’t Want to Miss Out

Ep #354: I Don’t Want to Miss Out

Sticking to your commitment to change your drinking can be hard when everyone around you is having a good time drinking. Tune in this week for strategies to deal with this situation.

Ep #351: Mastering Your Urges

Ep #351: Mastering Your Urges

The urge to drink is no different than any other urge you have, and like those urges, you can learn to master it. This episode will show you how.

Ep #342: Subtle Comments

Ep #342: Subtle Comments

You don’t have to become defensive when other people comment on your drinking. Learn to use the comments of others to your advantage today.

Ep #341: Excuse Categories

Ep #341: Excuse Categories

Nothing has gone wrong if you feel like you have just one excuse after another. Stop avoiding and start learning from your excuses today.

Ep #340: Thought Sabotage

Ep #340: Thought Sabotage

There is one key aspect holding you back from making a change with your drinking. Find out what it is today.

Ep #337: Unfulfilled Desire

Ep #337: Unfulfilled Desire

Navigating desire, particularly unfulfilled desire, takes practice and management skills. Discover how to work with your desire to drink.

Ep #335: Compelling Reason 3.0

Ep #335: Compelling Reason 3.0

Identifying why you want to change can sometimes be more important than what you want to change. Learn how to identify your why.

Ep #324: Preventing the Backslide

Ep #324: Preventing the Backslide

Anyone trying to change their drinking habit will encounter backsliding eventually. Learn how to prevent the backslide from hindering your progress.

Ep #309: Narrating Your Desire

Ep #309: Narrating Your Desire

Learn how to narrate what’s happening when you have the urge to drink and why doing so will help you take control of your desire.

Ep #302: Commitment Self-Sabotage

Ep #302: Commitment Self-Sabotage

You might think that your commitment to not drink is binary. Either you fail or you succeed. But that’s not exactly true, and here’s why.

Ep #301: Is Moderation Possible?

Ep #301: Is Moderation Possible?

If your goal is to be able to drink in moderation, you need to hear this. Find out if it’s even possible and if so, how to do it effectively.

Ep #298: Resenting Not Drinking

Ep #298: Resenting Not Drinking

If you’re trying to drink less, but keep feeling like you’re missing out, you won’t make lasting habit change. Listen in to change that.

Ep #287: Drinking to Relax

Ep #287: Drinking to Relax

There’s nothing like kicking your feet up of an evening and pouring a drink. Find out why this could make it harder to change your habit.

Ep #276: When Drinking Helps Your Anxiety

Ep #276: When Drinking Helps Your Anxiety

A glass of wine might feel like it’s helping with your anxiety, but it can’t provide real relief. Discover what’s really going on when you reach for a drink to feel less anxious, and what will help you feel better in the long-run.

Ep #273: Drink Manipulation

Ep #273: Drink Manipulation

Being offered a free drink can feel exciting or even annoying. How you respond to it says a lot about your habit. Find out why this week.

Ep #269: How to Stop Backsliding

Ep #269: How to Stop Backsliding

If you feel like every time you make progress on your drinking habit you end up backsliding, this episode will show you how to stop for good.

Ep #260: Transforming Failure

Ep #260: Transforming Failure

Learn how to see failure as a part of the process of changing your relationship with drinking and stop seeing it as a bad thing.

Ep #249: When One Isn’t Enough

Ep #249: When One Isn’t Enough

How many drinks is enough? Find out why asking this question is so powerful and what answering it can tell you about your drinking habit.

Ep #247: Urge Worry

Ep #247: Urge Worry

You don’t have to worry about future drinking urges anymore. Learn how to stop feeling anxious about your urges to drink.

Ep #245: Practicing Habit Change

Ep #245: Practicing Habit Change

Understanding your urges takes time and practice. Learn how to practice responding to your urges differently than you ever have before.

Ep #244: Responsible Drinking

Ep #244: Responsible Drinking

The fine print on a bottle usually says something like “drink responsibly”. Learn how to (finally) enjoy drinking in moderation.

Ep #243: What’s in Your Glass?

Ep #243: What’s in Your Glass?

Drinking more than you want to be drinking is a result of deeper belief systems. Learn how to change the habit by asking, “what’s really in my glass?”

Ep #240: Old Urges

Ep #240: Old Urges

There might come a time when an old urge sneaks up on you. Here’s what to do when an urge you haven’t had for a while suddenly shows up.

Ep #239: Drinking Amnesia

Ep #239: Drinking Amnesia

After a night of drinking, it’s normal to have some physical and/or mental side effects. Discover why we choose to drink in spite of these.

Ep #226: Drinking Intuition

Ep #226: Drinking Intuition

Learn what to do when you know it’s time to change your relationship with alcohol, but can’t seem to follow through.

Ep #222: Alcohol as a Boundary

Ep #222: Alcohol as a Boundary

Do you use alcohol as your excuse for getting out of what you don’t want to do? This could be making your drinking habit harder to change.

Ep #220: Chain of Events

Ep #220: Chain of Events

Find out why the days, weeks, and months leading up to your decision to drink are critical to changing your relationship with alcohol.

Ep #217: Regret About Drinking

Ep #217: Regret About Drinking

How feeling shame and regret about things you’ve done while drinking is preventing you from moving forward and actually changing your habit.

Ep #215: Absent Urges

Ep #215: Absent Urges

Even if you aren’t experiencing the urge to drink, you still have everything you need to learn about your habit and how to change it. Here’s how.

Ep #212: Alcohol and Sex

Ep #212: Alcohol and Sex

Learn how changing your relationship with alcohol can lead to greater intimacy, fewer inhibitions, and increased pleasure in bed.

Ep #211: Knowledge vs. Know-How

Ep #211: Knowledge vs. Know-How

Beating yourself up for drinking won’t help you change the habit. Discover what’s actually required in order to shift your relationship with alcohol.

Ep #208: Talking to People About Your Break

Ep #208: Talking to People About Your Break

When you’re focused on what other people will think about your decision to take a break from drinking, you inadvertently divert your attention from crucial information that will help you change the habit.

Ep #206: Loving Your Company

Ep #206: Loving Your Company

When you’re alone and bored, it’s easy to reach for a drink. Learn how to use this information to change the habit and your relationship with alcohol.

Ep #205: Writing Out the Habit

Ep #205: Writing Out the Habit

Drinking habits reside in your unconscious mind. If you want to change, you need to grab a pen and paper and start bringing full awareness to how the habit is unfolding.

Ep #204: Habit Mindset

Ep #204: Habit Mindset

You can’t change your drinking habits just by saying no. You have to understand the real reason you keep saying yes to a drink.

Ep #203: Allowing Urges

Ep #203: Allowing Urges

Learn why trying to wrestle the urge to drink into submission leads to inadvertently handing over your power to it.

Ep #201: Holiday Ritual

Ep #201: Holiday Ritual

Learn about the role that rituals play in our lives, why it’s so uncomfortable when our holiday plans are upended, and how to survive without turning to food and drink to cope.

Ep #200: Celebrating You 2.0

Ep #200: Celebrating You 2.0

Discover the reason why shifting your relationship with alcohol goes hand-in-hand with changing your relationship with yourself.

Ep #199: I Feel Fine Saying No

Ep #199: I Feel Fine Saying No

The reason why feeling “fine” when you say no isn’t enough to shift your relationship with alcohol, and the missing ingredients to create lasting change.

Ep #197: Desire Confusion

Ep #197: Desire Confusion

When you find yourself constantly chasing after the desire to drink and feeling unsatisfied and wanting more, it’s a good sign you may be caught up in desire confusion.

Ep #196: Why We Need Cocktail Hour

Ep #196: Why We Need Cocktail Hour

To understand why you crave a drink between the end of the work day and dinner, you need to examine the changes to work, community, and nature that ushered in this ritual.

Ep #190: What It Takes to Say No

Ep #190: What It Takes to Say No

If you think saying no to a drink requires trying harder, you’ve got it backwards. Instead of relying on effort, you need to understand the inner workings of the habit.

Ep #189: Everyone Drinks

Ep #189: Everyone Drinks

Stop tallying up the room and start asking yourself two questions that will help you examine the habit of drinking from a new perspective.

Ep #188: Milestones

Ep #188: Milestones

Why sobriety milestones are a problem and the reason that crossing days off a calendar will never help you change your relationship with alcohol.

Ep #186: Editing Your Drinking Mindset

Ep #186: Editing Your Drinking Mindset

If you believe that you can’t change your thoughts about drinking, then you’ll never be able to change the habit. Uncover the three biggest obstacles to creating a mindset shift around alcohol.

Ep #185: Why Do I Keep Flip Flopping?

Ep #185: Why Do I Keep Flip Flopping?

Do you find yourself going back and forth between drinking and not drinking, only to pick up right where you left off? If so, it’s because you haven’t done the mental work to change your drinking mindset.

Ep #183: Upside Denial

Ep #183: Upside Denial

The solution isn’t convincing yourself that drinking is “bad” for you, it’s understanding how the habit works in your brain.

Ep #182: Abstinence vs. Moderation

Ep #182: Abstinence vs. Moderation

Why we believe abstinence or moderation is the only option, and how you actually have the power to change your desire without falling into these traps.

Ep #181: Purposeful Discomfort

Ep #181: Purposeful Discomfort

How to embrace discomfort and why seeking out purposeful discomfort will help you focus on results you want beyond the immediate moment.

Ep #180: The Halfway Point

Ep #180: The Halfway Point

How removing blame and shame are so important if you want to be curious about why you haven’t been able to create change.

Ep #178: Unexpected Discoveries

Ep #178: Unexpected Discoveries

The four most important and unexpected discoveries that you’ll experience when you apply the tools I teach here to your life and taking a break.

Ep #176: Will This Work for Me?

Ep #176: Will This Work for Me?

Some of the most common excuses and reasons people give me for why their situation is different or unique, and why your brain will always try to prove that to you.

Ep #174: Urge Work

Ep #174: Urge Work

Why the ability to feel restless when you have the desire to drink is key in extinguishing the mental drama that comes up in those moments.

Ep #171: Why Alcohol Is an Acquired Taste

Ep #171: Why Alcohol Is an Acquired Taste

What it means to acquire a taste for alcohol, how it works, and why, if you want to change your relationship with drinking, it’s necessary to see how you’ve learned to like it.

Ep #170: Are You Drinking to Cope?

Ep #170: Are You Drinking to Cope?

Key questions you can ask yourself to see if your coping mechanisms are producing results you like, so you can choose different thoughts that may serve you better if they aren’t.

Ep #167: Emotional Fluency

Ep #167: Emotional Fluency

How to start creating emotional fluency for yourself, and how this is going to help you figure out a new way to respond and relate to your emotions.

Ep #164: Worry

Ep #164: Worry

How you can actually worry less, and in turn, reduce your desire to numb out using alcohol. 

Ep #161: Shame

Ep #161: Shame

The feeling of shame, how you can have less of it in your life, and how it doesn’t work in your favor when trying to change your relationship with alcohol.

Ep #158: Different this Time

Ep #158: Different this Time

How the thought, “I hope this time will be different,” can seem like a good thought but it isn’t actually serving you.

Ep #156: How to Have Your Own Back

Ep #156: How to Have Your Own Back

Why your friendship with yourself is the most important one to cultivate, and how disempowering it can be to rely on alcohol to get you through negative emotions.

Ep #154: Tapping Your Potential

Ep #154: Tapping Your Potential

How you might be blocking your growth by telling yourself stories that are not helpful, and how being stuck in the habit of drinking is wasting your most precious resource.

Ep #151: Urge Fuel

Ep #151: Urge Fuel

How not consuming the object of your desire will teach your brain to expect it less, but won’t extinguish all of your urges.

Ep #147: Your Purpose

Ep #147: Your Purpose

Why taking a break from drinking and other types of over-consuming can help us get in touch with why we’re here.

Ep #144: Subtle Willpower

Ep #144: Subtle Willpower

Why learning to manage your mind is such a better approach than relying on gritting your teeth and just getting through things.

Ep #143: Health Shame

Ep #143: Health Shame

The two outcomes shame usually creates and why neither of them are ultimately good for our health.

Ep #142: Insuring Your Brain

Ep #142: Insuring Your Brain

Why we should start thinking about how we can insure our brains and protect ourselves as best we can from cognitive decline.

Ep #140: Optimal Health

Ep #140: Optimal Health

The stress alcohol puts on our bodies and why a break can help us glimpse what’s possible for our health.

Ep #139: Goal Drama

Ep #139: Goal Drama

Why our brains create drama, why it can be so exhausting, and how to reframe the “problem” of taking a break as a “project” instead.

Ep #127: Compare & Despair

Ep #127: Compare & Despair

How to recognize when you’re in the compare and despair mindset, and how to get off this mental treadmill and start to make changes in your life.

Ep #119: It Doesn’t Matter

Ep #119: It Doesn’t Matter

What message you’re sending yourself when you negate all of your efforts by telling yourself that they don’t matter.

Ep #118: Commitment

Ep #118: Commitment

Why so many of us are ready to commit to others but not ourselves, and how this affects your relationship with yourself.

Ep #116: Dares

Ep #116: Dares

Why we stop daring ourselves and pushing the limits of what we think is possible after childhood and how you can start adding dares back into your life.

Ep #115: Listener Q&A: Surrender

Ep #115: Listener Q&A: Surrender

Why the words you use matter and how being curious about why our brains do what they do can be the catalyst for big changes in your drinking and your life.

Ep #112: Catastrophizing

Ep #112: Catastrophizing

The difference between being prepared for difficult situations and mentally living in a negative future.

Ep #111: Rejection

Ep #111: Rejection

How worrying what other people will think is hardwired into our brain as a survival tool.

Ep #99: You Are Not Powerless

Ep #99: You Are Not Powerless

How to uncover the thoughts and feelings that are driving your habit, even if you swear you’re not deciding to overdrink.

Ep #92: Uncovering You

Ep #92: Uncovering You

Why uncovering the real you can be so uncomfortable and confrontational and how shifting your thoughts away from just your actions can have a tremendous impact on your journey of taking a break.

Ep #91: Anxiety

Ep #91: Anxiety

Why anxiety is not a problem and how shifting your relationship makes all the difference.

Ep #90: Numbing

Ep #90: Numbing

Why we numb, how to tell when you’re using a numbing action to avoid facing your negative thoughts and emotions, and why awareness is key.

Ep #88: Personality or Mindset

Ep #88: Personality or Mindset

How being attached to a story about who you are and a story about your personality actually prevents you from knowing yourself, from growing, and most importantly, from changing the habits that you want to change.

Ep #86: Mirror Effect

Ep #86: Mirror Effect

Why we judge other people harshly – and what that means about your thoughts about yourself.

Ep #85: All or Nothing

Ep #85: All or Nothing

Find out how making a small change to your thinking about being perfect all of the time can help you on your journey of changing your drinking.

Ep #84: Drink Pushers

Ep #84: Drink Pushers

How to handle the situations where someone is trying to persuade you to drink to help you feel empowered rather than pressured.

Ep #83: Improvement or Growth

Ep #83: Improvement or Growth

How using certain kinds of language when we don’t do as we planned impacts meaningful growth and how a subtle shift can make all the difference when you’re trying to change your drinking.

Ep #82: Change Without Practice

Ep #82: Change Without Practice

The real reasons why you might be having an issue with socializing without alcohol and how regular practice can make this process easier and more enjoyable.

Ep #81: Impulse Control

Ep #81: Impulse Control

How to stop your impulses from running your day and manage them as they arise to achieve your goals and build a better relationship with yourself in the process.

Ep #78: The Rolodex of Excuses

Ep #78: The Rolodex of Excuses

How to identify those permission-giving thoughts, call them out for what they are, and teach your brain that you’re the one that has the ultimate authority over the decisions you make.

Ep #77: Transition Time

Ep #77: Transition Time

Why we as human beings need markers and transitions in our everyday life and how using alcohol as a marker can get in the way when you want to change your habit of drinking.

Ep #75: Bridge Thoughts

Ep #75: Bridge Thoughts

Go from the thoughts that you’ve possibly been thinking your entire life to thoughts that serve you on your journey of changing your drinking habits.

Ep #72: I’ll Start Monday

Ep #72: I’ll Start Monday

Discover how to break the cycle of not taking action, save yourself a lot of lost time, and create sustainable change in your life.

Ep #71: Story Editing

Ep #71: Story Editing

Shake free of the stories that you’re telling yourself that are creating negative results for you right now.

Ep #70: Triggers

Ep #70: Triggers

The important distinction between cues and triggers and which word is more suitable in a particular situation.

Ep #67: Sitting at the Kids’ Table

Ep #67: Sitting at the Kids’ Table

If taking a break from drinking leaves you feeling like you’re sitting at the kids’ table, it’s time to look at your beliefs around alcohol and what makes things fancy or sophisticated.

Ep #66: Becoming an Observer

Ep #66: Becoming an Observer

Become an observer of your thoughts and emotions and begin changing them to help you take a break from drinking in a sustainable way.

Ep #65: Honesty

Ep #65: Honesty

Many people know that their drinking habit is creating negative results in their life, but they can’t bring themselves to sit down and write out any of the exercises I teach because they’ve fallen into the trap of believing that putting something on paper makes it “real.”

Ep #64: Urges 2.0

Ep #64: Urges 2.0

Saying no to a drink is easy; the real challenge lies in dealing with the discomfort of an unanswered urge.

Ep #63: The In-Between Time

Ep #63: The In-Between Time

Explore the ins and outs of the “in-between” time: the place where you’re shedding one identity and beginning to create a new one. Why you need to learn how to navigate it, and how you can get started.

Ep #62: Self-Pity

Ep #62: Self-Pity

Learn why feeling pity for others isn’t helpful, the reason no one likes being pitied, and why it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself when it comes to your drinking.

Ep #60: Augmenting Positive Emotions

Ep #60: Augmenting Positive Emotions

The reason we are constantly in search of a reward when something good happens and the potential downsides of always augmenting positive emotions with food and alcohol.

Ep #59: I Deserve It

Ep #59: I Deserve It

This week on the Take a Break podcast, I’m discussing permission-giving thoughts, how they fuel the habit of drinking, and the most common one, “I deserve it.”

Ep #56: Your Opinion of You

Ep #56: Your Opinion of You

Your opinion of you should be your number one priority. When you focus on what others think, it will keep you stuck and unable to change the habits that aren’t serving you. 

Ep #54: Why I Don’t Use Labels

Ep #54: Why I Don’t Use Labels

Most people are conditioned to talk about overdrinking solely through the labels “alcoholic,” “sober,” or “recovered.” These labels don’t capture the varying degrees of struggle or the nature of how habits work. Listen to the benefits of describing the habit rather than labeling the person when it comes to changing your drinking.

Ep #52: Compelling Reason 2.0

Ep #52: Compelling Reason 2.0

Why it helps to have a compelling reason if you want to take a break, how to find one, and how to avoid the most common pitfalls and misconceptions when using a compelling reason to motivate change.

Ep #50: Choosing Discomfort

Ep #50: Choosing Discomfort

Why you’re actually moving backward if you’re not growing and how changing your view of discomfort will not only set you up to have an entirely different year but how it can set you up to have an entirely different life.

Ep #45: Harnessing Metaphor

Ep #45: Harnessing Metaphor

When you want to change a habit you must pay attention to the language you use to describe your feelings, especially your desire.

Ep #43: Be Where You Are

Ep #43: Be Where You Are

Discover how paying attention to the subtle emotions that you’re experiencing throughout your day can help you reduce your urge to drink.

Ep #42: Celebrating You

Ep #42: Celebrating You

No one ever teaches us how to celebrate ourselves but it’s an incredibly powerful skill. Tune in to learn how.

Ep #41: Time Alone

Ep #41: Time Alone

Discover why you really dislike spending time alone, and how developing this skill can help you change your drinking.

Ep #40: The Dark Side of Blessed

Ep #40: The Dark Side of Blessed

Learn about the unexpected downside of being “blessed” and how this idea can actually backfire when it comes to changing your drinking.

Ep #34: Connection

Ep #34: Connection

Humans are built for connection but if you’re not careful you might unknowingly teach your brain to outsource this skill to a drink.

Ep #33: What Is Enough

Ep #33: What Is Enough

Learn how your opposition to waste and certain visual cues can disconnect you from your internal understanding of when your body is truly satisfied.

Ep #32: Habit Cycle

Ep #32: Habit Cycle

An in-depth look at how the habit cycle works and how to harness it in order to change your desire.

Ep #30: I Don’t Do Emotions

Ep #30: I Don’t Do Emotions

Why you absolutely must stop avoiding negative emotions if you want to use the Think, Feel, Act Cycle as a tool for changing your drinking.

Ep #28: Needing Relief

Ep #28: Needing Relief

Why you continuously need “something” to lessen the stress and anxiety you feel at the end of the day, and the reason pouring a drink to take the edge off isn’t sustainable.

Ep #27: Competing Desires

Ep #27: Competing Desires

If you’ve ever wondered why you sometimes feel at odds with yourself when it comes to having a drink, you’ll want to check out this episode.

Ep #25: Creating vs. Consuming Fun

Ep #25: Creating vs. Consuming Fun

Discover the difference between creating and consuming fun, how shifting from consuming to creating is necessary if you want to take a break from drinking and become a more interesting person in the process.

Ep #24: I’m No Fun Without a Drink

Ep #24: I’m No Fun Without a Drink

How two thoughts, “I’m no fun when I don’t drink” and “This event will be unbearable without booze,” are keeping you stuck, and how to stop outsourcing the perception of fun to alcohol.

Ep #23: What if I fail?

Ep #23: What if I fail?

What happens to your brain when you think, “What if I fail?” and why you need to learn to deal with this thought.

Ep #20: What Creates Your Life

Ep #20: What Creates Your Life

Learn what creates your results in life, and how easy it can be to get into a pattern of turning to a drink (or other distractions) to feel better when you don’t like what you see.

Ep #17: Understanding Your Thoughts

Ep #17: Understanding Your Thoughts

The think, feel, act cycle affects everything we do. In order to understand how to use it to change your drinking and reduce your desire, you must first understand the role of your thoughts.

Ep #15: There Is No Wagon

Ep #15: There Is No Wagon

What really happens when you “fall off the wagon” and why this phrase can undermine your commitment to change your drinking.

Ep #11: Deprivation

Ep #11: Deprivation

What deprivation is all about, what creates it, and why you don’t have to constantly tell yourself, “I’m just going to have to live with this for the rest of my life”

Ep #9: Using Alcohol as a Crutch

Ep #9: Using Alcohol as a Crutch

Why it’s so important to examine how alcohol is helping us in our daily lives and how we use it to “solve” our problems quickly and easily.

Ep #8: Managing Urges

Ep #8: Managing Urges

In this episode, we’re delving deeper into the desire to drink and talking about urges – what they are and how to best handle them.

Ep #6: Indecision

Ep #6: Indecision

Are you endlessly agonizing about what to do about your drinking? Here are the four main reasons you’re stuck in indecision.

Ep #1: Why You Should Be Here

Ep #1: Why You Should Be Here

Welcome to the very first episode of Take a Break from Drinking. This podcast is for you if you are looking to slow down, or even quit, drinking but don’t know how.