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Ep #185: Why Do I Keep Flip Flopping?

Ep #185: Why Do I Keep Flip Flopping?

Do you find yourself going back and forth between drinking and not drinking, only to pick up right where you left off? If so, it’s because you haven’t done the mental work to change your drinking mindset.

Ep #183: Upside Denial

Ep #183: Upside Denial

The solution isn’t convincing yourself that drinking is “bad” for you, it’s understanding how the habit works in your brain.

Ep #182: Abstinence vs. Moderation

Ep #182: Abstinence vs. Moderation

Why we believe abstinence or moderation is the only option, and how you actually have the power to change your desire without falling into these traps.

Ep #181: Purposeful Discomfort

Ep #181: Purposeful Discomfort

How to embrace discomfort and why seeking out purposeful discomfort will help you focus on results you want beyond the immediate moment.

Ep #180: The Halfway Point

Ep #180: The Halfway Point

How removing blame and shame are so important if you want to be curious about why you haven’t been able to create change.

Ep #178: Unexpected Discoveries

Ep #178: Unexpected Discoveries

The four most important and unexpected discoveries that you’ll experience when you apply the tools I teach here to your life and taking a break.

Ep #176: Will This Work for Me?

Ep #176: Will This Work for Me?

Some of the most common excuses and reasons people give me for why their situation is different or unique, and why your brain will always try to prove that to you.

Ep #174: Urge Work

Ep #174: Urge Work

Why the ability to feel restless when you have the desire to drink is key in extinguishing the mental drama that comes up in those moments.

Ep #173: Thought Curiosity

Ep #173: Thought Curiosity

What getting curious about your thoughts means and why most people aren’t in the habit of doing this.

Ep #171: Why Alcohol Is an Acquired Taste

Ep #171: Why Alcohol Is an Acquired Taste

What it means to acquire a taste for alcohol, how it works, and why, if you want to change your relationship with drinking, it’s necessary to see how you’ve learned to like it.

Ep #170: Are You Drinking to Cope?

Ep #170: Are You Drinking to Cope?

Key questions you can ask yourself to see if your coping mechanisms are producing results you like, so you can choose different thoughts that may serve you better if they aren’t.

Ep #168: When Will This Be Over?

Ep #168: When Will This Be Over?

How letting go of willpower will help you find moments of peace and joy and come out stronger on the other side of this pandemic.

Ep #167: Emotional Fluency

Ep #167: Emotional Fluency

How to start creating emotional fluency for yourself, and how this is going to help you figure out a new way to respond and relate to your emotions.

Ep #164: Worry

Ep #164: Worry

How you can actually worry less, and in turn, reduce your desire to numb out using alcohol. 

Ep #161: Shame

Ep #161: Shame

The feeling of shame, how you can have less of it in your life, and how it doesn’t work in your favor when trying to change your relationship with alcohol.

Ep #158: Different this Time

Ep #158: Different this Time

How the thought, “I hope this time will be different,” can seem like a good thought but it isn’t actually serving you.

Ep #156: How to Have Your Own Back

Ep #156: How to Have Your Own Back

Why your friendship with yourself is the most important one to cultivate, and how disempowering it can be to rely on alcohol to get you through negative emotions.

Ep #154: Tapping Your Potential

Ep #154: Tapping Your Potential

How you might be blocking your growth by telling yourself stories that are not helpful, and how being stuck in the habit of drinking is wasting your most precious resource.

Ep #151: Urge Fuel

Ep #151: Urge Fuel

How not consuming the object of your desire will teach your brain to expect it less, but won’t extinguish all of your urges.

Ep #147: Your Purpose

Ep #147: Your Purpose

Why taking a break from drinking and other types of over-consuming can help us get in touch with why we’re here.

Ep #146: Alcohol & Emotions

Ep #146: Alcohol & Emotions

Why understanding the connection between the habit of drinking and your emotions is crucial to your success.

Ep #144: Subtle Willpower

Ep #144: Subtle Willpower

Why learning to manage your mind is such a better approach than relying on gritting your teeth and just getting through things.

Ep #143: Health Shame

Ep #143: Health Shame

The two outcomes shame usually creates and why neither of them are ultimately good for our health.

Ep #142: Insuring Your Brain

Ep #142: Insuring Your Brain

Why we should start thinking about how we can insure our brains and protect ourselves as best we can from cognitive decline.

Ep #140: Optimal Health

Ep #140: Optimal Health

The stress alcohol puts on our bodies and why a break can help us glimpse what’s possible for our health.

Ep #139: Goal Drama

Ep #139: Goal Drama

Why our brains create drama, why it can be so exhausting, and how to reframe the “problem” of taking a break as a “project” instead.

Ep #127: Compare & Despair

Ep #127: Compare & Despair

How to recognize when you’re in the compare and despair mindset, and how to get off this mental treadmill and start to make changes in your life.

Ep #119: It Doesn’t Matter

Ep #119: It Doesn’t Matter

What message you’re sending yourself when you negate all of your efforts by telling yourself that they don’t matter.

Ep #118: Commitment

Ep #118: Commitment

Why so many of us are ready to commit to others but not ourselves, and how this affects your relationship with yourself.

Ep #116: Dares

Ep #116: Dares

Why we stop daring ourselves and pushing the limits of what we think is possible after childhood and how you can start adding dares back into your life.

Ep #115: Listener Q&A: Surrender

Ep #115: Listener Q&A: Surrender

Why the words you use matter and how being curious about why our brains do what they do can be the catalyst for big changes in your drinking and your life.

Ep #114: Relationship Manuals

Ep #114: Relationship Manuals

How we use relationship manuals as a way to avoid taking responsibility f*or our own thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Ep #113: Boredom

Ep #113: Boredom

Boredom, what’s “wrong” with it, and what it has to offer us.

Ep #112: Catastrophizing

Ep #112: Catastrophizing

The difference between being prepared for difficult situations and mentally living in a negative future.

Ep #111: Rejection

Ep #111: Rejection

How worrying what other people will think is hardwired into our brain as a survival tool.

Ep #99: You Are Not Powerless

Ep #99: You Are Not Powerless

How to uncover the thoughts and feelings that are driving your habit, even if you swear you’re not deciding to overdrink.

Ep #92: Uncovering You

Ep #92: Uncovering You

Why uncovering the real you can be so uncomfortable and confrontational and how shifting your thoughts away from just your actions can have a tremendous impact on your journey of taking a break.

Ep #91: Anxiety

Ep #91: Anxiety

Why anxiety is not a problem and how shifting your relationship makes all the difference.

Ep #90: Numbing

Ep #90: Numbing

Why we numb, how to tell when you’re using a numbing action to avoid facing your negative thoughts and emotions, and why awareness is key.

Ep #89: Motivation

Ep #89: Motivation

How you can build the skill of motivation by taking action every day.

Ep #88: Personality or Mindset

Ep #88: Personality or Mindset

How being attached to a story about who you are and a story about your personality actually prevents you from knowing yourself, from growing, and most importantly, from changing the habits that you want to change.

Ep #86: Mirror Effect

Ep #86: Mirror Effect

Why we judge other people harshly – and what that means about your thoughts about yourself.

Ep #85: All or Nothing

Ep #85: All or Nothing

Find out how making a small change to your thinking about being perfect all of the time can help you on your journey of changing your drinking.

Ep #84: Drink Pushers

Ep #84: Drink Pushers

How to handle the situations where someone is trying to persuade you to drink to help you feel empowered rather than pressured.

Ep #83: Improvement or Growth

Ep #83: Improvement or Growth

How using certain kinds of language when we don’t do as we planned impacts meaningful growth and how a subtle shift can make all the difference when you’re trying to change your drinking.

Ep #82: Change Without Practice

Ep #82: Change Without Practice

The real reasons why you might be having an issue with socializing without alcohol and how regular practice can make this process easier and more enjoyable.

Ep #81: Impulse Control

Ep #81: Impulse Control

How to stop your impulses from running your day and manage them as they arise to achieve your goals and build a better relationship with yourself in the process.

Ep #79: Your Emotional Health

Ep #79: Your Emotional Health

What good emotional health is all about (and this may actually surprise you) and what gets in the way of achieving it.

Ep #78: The Rolodex of Excuses

Ep #78: The Rolodex of Excuses

How to identify those permission-giving thoughts, call them out for what they are, and teach your brain that you’re the one that has the ultimate authority over the decisions you make.

Ep #77: Transition Time

Ep #77: Transition Time

Why we as human beings need markers and transitions in our everyday life and how using alcohol as a marker can get in the way when you want to change your habit of drinking.

Ep #75: Bridge Thoughts

Ep #75: Bridge Thoughts

Go from the thoughts that you’ve possibly been thinking your entire life to thoughts that serve you on your journey of changing your drinking habits.

Ep #72: I’ll Start Monday

Ep #72: I’ll Start Monday

Discover how to break the cycle of not taking action, save yourself a lot of lost time, and create sustainable change in your life.

Ep #71: Story Editing

Ep #71: Story Editing

Shake free of the stories that you’re telling yourself that are creating negative results for you right now.

Ep #70: Triggers

Ep #70: Triggers

The important distinction between cues and triggers and which word is more suitable in a particular situation.

Ep #67: Sitting at the Kids’ Table

Ep #67: Sitting at the Kids’ Table

If taking a break from drinking leaves you feeling like you’re sitting at the kids’ table, it’s time to look at your beliefs around alcohol and what makes things fancy or sophisticated.

Ep #66: Becoming an Observer

Ep #66: Becoming an Observer

Become an observer of your thoughts and emotions and begin changing them to help you take a break from drinking in a sustainable way.

Ep #65: Honesty

Ep #65: Honesty

Many people know that their drinking habit is creating negative results in their life, but they can’t bring themselves to sit down and write out any of the exercises I teach because they’ve fallen into the trap of believing that putting something on paper makes it “real.”

Ep #64: Urges 2.0

Ep #64: Urges 2.0

Saying no to a drink is easy; the real challenge lies in dealing with the discomfort of an unanswered urge.

Ep #63: The In-Between Time

Ep #63: The In-Between Time

Explore the ins and outs of the “in-between” time: the place where you’re shedding one identity and beginning to create a new one. Why you need to learn how to navigate it, and how you can get started.

Ep #62: Self-Pity

Ep #62: Self-Pity

Learn why feeling pity for others isn’t helpful, the reason no one likes being pitied, and why it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself when it comes to your drinking.

Ep #60: Augmenting Positive Emotions

Ep #60: Augmenting Positive Emotions

The reason we are constantly in search of a reward when something good happens and the potential downsides of always augmenting positive emotions with food and alcohol.

Ep #59: I Deserve It

Ep #59: I Deserve It

This week on the Take a Break podcast, I’m discussing permission-giving thoughts, how they fuel the habit of drinking, and the most common one, “I deserve it.”

Ep #56: Your Opinion of You

Ep #56: Your Opinion of You

Your opinion of you should be your number one priority. When you focus on what others think, it will keep you stuck and unable to change the habits that aren’t serving you. 

Ep #54: Why I Don’t Use Labels

Ep #54: Why I Don’t Use Labels

Most people are conditioned to talk about overdrinking solely through the labels “alcoholic,” “sober,” or “recovered.” These labels don’t capture the varying degrees of struggle or the nature of how habits work. Listen to the benefits of describing the habit rather than labeling the person when it comes to changing your drinking.

Ep #52: Compelling Reason 2.0

Ep #52: Compelling Reason 2.0

Why it helps to have a compelling reason if you want to take a break, how to find one, and how to avoid the most common pitfalls and misconceptions when using a compelling reason to motivate change.

Ep #50: Choosing Discomfort

Ep #50: Choosing Discomfort

Why you’re actually moving backward if you’re not growing and how changing your view of discomfort will not only set you up to have an entirely different year but how it can set you up to have an entirely different life.

Ep #45: Harnessing Metaphor

Ep #45: Harnessing Metaphor

When you want to change a habit you must pay attention to the language you use to describe your feelings, especially your desire.

Ep #43: Be Where You Are

Ep #43: Be Where You Are

Discover how paying attention to the subtle emotions that you’re experiencing throughout your day can help you reduce your urge to drink.

Ep #42: Celebrating You

Ep #42: Celebrating You

No one ever teaches us how to celebrate ourselves but it’s an incredibly powerful skill. Tune in to learn how.

Ep #41: Time Alone

Ep #41: Time Alone

Discover why you really dislike spending time alone, and how developing this skill can help you change your drinking.

Ep #40: The Dark Side of Blessed

Ep #40: The Dark Side of Blessed

Learn about the unexpected downside of being “blessed” and how this idea can actually backfire when it comes to changing your drinking.

Ep #36: How Not to Take a Break

Ep #36: How Not to Take a Break

Six things you shouldn’t do if you want to take a break from drinking, unless you want to end up exactly where you started.

Ep #34: Connection

Ep #34: Connection

Humans are built for connection but if you’re not careful you might unknowingly teach your brain to outsource this skill to a drink.

Ep #33: What Is Enough

Ep #33: What Is Enough

Learn how your opposition to waste and certain visual cues can disconnect you from your internal understanding of when your body is truly satisfied.

Ep #32: Habit Cycle

Ep #32: Habit Cycle

An in-depth look at how the habit cycle works and how to harness it in order to change your desire.

Ep #30: I Don’t Do Emotions

Ep #30: I Don’t Do Emotions

Why you absolutely must stop avoiding negative emotions if you want to use the Think, Feel, Act Cycle as a tool for changing your drinking.

Ep #28: Needing Relief

Ep #28: Needing Relief

Why you continuously need “something” to lessen the stress and anxiety you feel at the end of the day, and the reason pouring a drink to take the edge off isn’t sustainable.

Ep #27: Competing Desires

Ep #27: Competing Desires

If you’ve ever wondered why you sometimes feel at odds with yourself when it comes to having a drink, you’ll want to check out this episode.

Ep #25: Creating vs. Consuming Fun

Ep #25: Creating vs. Consuming Fun

Discover the difference between creating and consuming fun, how shifting from consuming to creating is necessary if you want to take a break from drinking and become a more interesting person in the process.

Ep #24: I’m No Fun Without a Drink

Ep #24: I’m No Fun Without a Drink

How two thoughts, “I’m no fun when I don’t drink” and “This event will be unbearable without booze,” are keeping you stuck, and how to stop outsourcing the perception of fun to alcohol.

Ep #23: What if I fail?

Ep #23: What if I fail?

What happens to your brain when you think, “What if I fail?” and why you need to learn to deal with this thought.

Ep #20: What Creates Your Life

Ep #20: What Creates Your Life

Learn what creates your results in life, and how easy it can be to get into a pattern of turning to a drink (or other distractions) to feel better when you don’t like what you see.

Ep #18: Understanding Your Emotions

Ep #18: Understanding Your Emotions

Learn how your emotions differ from your thoughts and why this distinction is crucial to figuring out the reason why you drink more than you want.

Ep #17: Understanding Your Thoughts

Ep #17: Understanding Your Thoughts

The think, feel, act cycle affects everything we do. In order to understand how to use it to change your drinking and reduce your desire, you must first understand the role of your thoughts.

Ep #15: There Is No Wagon

Ep #15: There Is No Wagon

What really happens when you “fall off the wagon” and why this phrase can undermine your commitment to change your drinking.

Ep #11: Deprivation

Ep #11: Deprivation

What deprivation is all about, what creates it, and why you don’t have to constantly tell yourself, “I’m just going to have to live with this for the rest of my life”

Ep #9: Using Alcohol as a Crutch

Ep #9: Using Alcohol as a Crutch

Why it’s so important to examine how alcohol is helping us in our daily lives and how we use it to “solve” our problems quickly and easily.

Ep #8: Managing Urges

Ep #8: Managing Urges

In this episode, we’re delving deeper into the desire to drink and talking about urges – what they are and how to best handle them.

Ep #6: Indecision

Ep #6: Indecision

Are you endlessly agonizing about what to do about your drinking? Here are the four main reasons you’re stuck in indecision.

Ep #4: Liquid Confidence

Ep #4: Liquid Confidence

Find out what confidence really is and why it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we need a drink to feel more self-assured and at ease in social situations.

Ep #1: Why You Should Be Here

Ep #1: Why You Should Be Here

Welcome to the very first episode of Take a Break from Drinking. This podcast is for you if you are looking to slow down, or even quit, drinking but don’t know how.